Another Summer

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Another summer is in the books.

It didn’t go like I planned.

It turns out you can’t do everything well all the time, no matter how well you plan or how high you set your intentions.

There were some truly magical moments, even though there was no big vacation this year. We spent lots and lots of time together, swimming in borrowed pools and sweating at the zoo. We stayed up late and got up early and we watched a lot of movies.

It was good, I know it was good. I know we are ok.

But all truth be told, this summer had more than its share of hard moments. Every summer, we go from a very busy family of six all running in different directions to suddenly being together 24/7 and there are always lots of, shall we say, personality conflicts. Almost teenagers and toddlers and everything in between are difficult to manage at the same time, I’m learning.

I took in too much news and didn’t read enough beautiful books and I know it made me more sad and tired than I needed to be. Does anyone else have a hard time limiting the flow of the 24 hour news cycle into their eyeballs, or is that just me? And then it’s really hard to be a normal person when you’re brain is full of big, horribly un-solvable problems. I mean, I don’t ever want to turn a blind eye to world events but I think I can balance what flows in and out a little better, for the love.

I wrote a lot this summer and I know I needed to. We are building something here together and I know it’s right. I’m not sorry and I wouldn’t change it…but every choice comes with consequences, right? So there are a lot of things I didn’t do so that I could write and now those undone tasks are piled up in my brain and I’m pretty overwhelmed which is making me mean.

School starts Monday. None of us are ready, we just have to do it and let ready come find us.

Anyone else out there feeling like that?

I bet someone is.

So let’s do this. Let’s take five minutes to breathe and sit in a sunny spot. Let’s forgive all the we didn’t do and some of the things that we did. Breathe deep one more time on that one. Let’s take note of the beauty we saw in the summer and let’s not let it lose its place to that ever-present not enough, never enough whisper. Breathe deep one more time. If unmet expectations are nagging at your soul, there is a distinct possibility they were only your expectations to begin with and you still have the power to release them, to release yourself. You are so dearly loved and you are not a disappointment to God. Did you hear me? What you did is enough and doesn’t He always come and make up the difference anyhow? He always comes and He always brings what we lack. Breathe.

I’d love to hear from you, especially if you are feeling like August jumped out and scared you when you were least expecting it. Because it can’t just be me, right?