In my latest newsletter, I told you guys about how I’ve been washing my face and all the ways that simple change has been changing me.
I immediately fell off the wagon.
Do you do that, too? Get on a roll, start telling folks the good news, and then slip-n-slide back down lower than before? I think my tendency to fall back down has kept me from trying to climb up more than a few times. I don’t like failure, even little tiny hiccups can start the tiny Walkman in my brain that plays the tire old tapes like, Why Do You Even Try?, You Should be Embarrassed, Everyone Else Has Their %#&% Together By Now, and my personal favorite of all time, You Should Definitely Give Up.
But I tell you what, this year has really been full of major transitions in my spirit and my mind. I can almost feel myself growing and changing and learning new ways to walk. A lot of that is due to this little community we are building together and the way writing for you is filling me up and giving me life.
And so, here I am to let you know that I fell off the face washing wagon. But I think you know there is more to it than just soap and water. I let that one little radical act of self care get pulled away by other things…I argued with my husband and I felt bad and for some reason I didn’t want to treat myself well. The next night, I ate ice cream and watched too much tv…that night I didn’t wash my face OR read my book before bed which meant I didn’t sleep as well…which meant the next day I was more tired than usual, which led to more arguing which led to…I don’t have to tell you the rest, you know by now. And 2018 Bethany would let those old tapes determine her next steps, but I am not doing life that way anymore. So last night, I started again. I washed my face and dotted some zit cream and tonight I’ll do it again and then I’ll read my book and sleep better and then I will feel better again.
All is not hopeless, we get to change and grow and tomorrow doesn’t have to be like yesterday.
I’d love to hear from you. What are the things you do each day that keep you feeling human?
If you’d like to try the magical scrub I’m using, I just became an amazon affiliate and I would love it if you would click the link below…and then let me know what you think!